Poet's

Poet's

This was inspired by a chat with a very special friend. 

I hope she recognizes it.

     Gabrielle leaned back against the rock and listened

to the sounds of celebration going on all around her.

This had been just the excuse that she and Xena

needed to return to the amazon homeland, to rekindle

relationships with old friends and, hopefully, begin

new ones.

     At first, it had been only she and Xena sitting by

the fire, talking about family-of birth and choice, about

wishes for the future and about significant firsts.

Gabrielle had noticed how the port was loosening the

normally closed mouthed warrior's lips and she wasn't

about to let this opportunity pass.

     "Xena?"

     "Hm?"  Xena answered, looking over the rim of her

cup.

     "Do you remember your first?"

     "My first what?"

     "You know," Gabrielle said as she gestured with

her hand.  "Your first encounter...sexually."

     Before Xena could answer, Ephiny and Taladegas

walked over to the fire, obviously well into their own

cups of favorite liquid refreshment, and sat

cross-legged on the ground.

     "Couldn't help but overhear, Gabrielle.  How  bout

it, Xena?  Do you remember your first?"  Ephiny took

another drink.

     "You mean I wasn't your first?  I'm crushed,"

Taladegas teased, tossing a wink in Gabrielle's

direction.

     Xena sat quietly for a long time before answering.

The passage of time had done nothing to dull the

memories of that brief moment in time and, truth be

told, she was not sure whether she was ready to share

that much of herself with her friends.

     Granted, each woman held a special place in her

heart, Ephiny was her equal, her advisor in the matters

of battle and strategy.  Taladegas was her...her what?

Taladegas enjoyed physical encounters just for the

sake of pleasure, no attachments, no promises and

there were times when that was exactly what Xena

needed.  Gabrielle was, in the beginning, a source of

amusement and irritation, an innocent who needed

taking care of, a tag along, but now?  Now, the child

had become a woman and that woman was capturing

more and more of the warrior's elusive heart.  Was she

ready to share this with Gabrielle?  Was Gabrielle

ready to hear it?

     "I remember," was all Xena could manage to say.

     "Would you tell me?"  Gabrielle asked the question

as if she were the only one sitting there.  For Xena,

that was enough.

     "I was fifteen and about to discover that I didn't

know as much about life as I thought.  My mother

believed I had a talent for singing.  She said I had a

voice that was surely a gift from the Gods and after a

while, I began to believe her.  One day, she asked me

if I would like to go to Athens and study with the

masters at the collegium.  The thought of leaving

home scared me witless but I didn't want to disappoint

her, so I agreed."  Xena struggled with the memory of

her mother and hoped to hide that fact by taking a

comforting drink.  "Most of the other students were

older than I was and I felt very awkward.  I was already

large, for my age, so most of the others believed I was

older, more experienced, than I was and it usually

caused me a great deal of embarrassment.

     Eventually, one of the older students took me under

her wing and became my mentor.  She showed me

around, told me who was who, which teachers to ask

for and which to avoid.  I could share everything with

her, my fears, my hopes, my dreams-my voice; I didn't

hold anything back.

     She was a poet and I can remember sitting in her

room, just the two of us, and being swept away by her

words.  One night, after a particularly grueling

rehearsal, I went to her room.  My instructor had

drawn and quartered me in front of every other student

in the auditorium and I wanted to die.  I knew that she

would know exactly what to say to make me feel

better.  I even remember some of the words to the

poem she recited for me that night."  Xena paused and

looked around the circle.  Gabrielle nodded her

encouragement and the warrior continued.  "I think it

went something like this,

          My gentle Mountain Lark;

          Trembling within my grasp.

          Trust not the ears;

          trust, instead, the songbird's heart

          lest you miss the poet's words

          taken from the poet's lips by

          Zephyrus and his gentle winds;

          sent to soothe and ease

          the pain that dwells within

          her gentle Mountain Lark.."

Xena took another drink.  "We spent every spare

moment, after that, together.  She took me places,

emotionally, physically, that I had never been to

before and have not since.  She could set my body on

fire and make love to me with nothing more than her

words.

     When I sang, I would look into her eyes and I could

feel my soul laid bare, my emotions melding with

every note and little pieces of all that I was, all that I

could be, were scattered to the winds.  It exhausted me

but I couldn't have stopped even if I had wanted to,

which I didn't, not ever.

     I suppose it was a good thing that we did spend so

much time together because three months later, she

received her apprentice papers and was gone.  I've

never seen her since."  Xena finished her story and

stared into the fire.

     "That's it?"  Taladegas asked, unaware of the deadly

look coming from Gabrielle.  "Not what I expected."

     "Just what did you expect?"

     "I dunno, Ephiny, but that wasn't it.  Too much

mushy stuff."

     "You're drunk."

     "Not that drunk," Taladegas teased.

     Ephiny stood up and grabbed Taladegas by the

front of her shirt.  "Pardon us.  I think I'll take this one

home and put her to bed."

     "Oh goodie."

     "Alone."

     "Spoil sport."

     "Good night.  See you in the morning."  Ephiny put

one of Taladegas' arms around her shoulder and

practically carried the inebriated amazon towards her

hut. 

     Gabrielle watched her friends disappear into the

still celebrating crowd before she refocused her

attention on Xena.  It had taken a lot of courage for

Xena to tell her story the way she did, Gabrielle knew

that and she could also tell that Taladegas' insensitive

reaction had hurt Xena.

     "I'm sorry," she finally said.

     "For what?"

     "For what Tal said."

     Xena looked in the direction that the intoxicated

pair had disappeared in and shook her head.  "I don't

care what Tal thinks, or Ephiny for that matter, but I

do care what you think."

     Gabrielle walked around the fire and knelt down in

front of Xena.  She looked into blue eyes and caught

the warrior's face when she tried to look away.  "I

thought it was beautiful.  Is that why you don't sing

now?"

     "Yes," Xena whispered.  "It still hurts.  The first

always does."

     "How many other first have there been for you?"

     "None."

     "Why?"

     "I still remember."

     "And what if someone asked you to be their first?

What if that someone was fully aware of the risks and

wasn't afraid to take it?  What if they accepted you

exactly the way you are, knew you as well as anyone

could and they still loved you?"

     "I don't know.  No one has ever asked before."

     "Never?"

     Xena shook her head.  She was afraid her voice

would betray her if she tried to speak.

     "Xena, I'm asking now, would you be my first?"

     The warrior explored Gabrielle's face with gentle

fingertips, framed it with seasoned hands and pulled

the bard into a kiss, encircling her with strong arms,

pressing her against a battle-hardened chest.  The soft

moan escaped her chest before she could stop it and 

Xena felt a lone tear fall away from her cheek to be lost

in the gentle breeze.  She had never felt so free.

     "I just love the equinox, don't you?"  Taladegas

asked while standing next to Ephiny on top of the

makeshift stage, enjoying a bird's eye view of two dear

friends.

     "It's my favorite."  Ephiny answered as they turned

away from the new lovers by the fire.  "Come on, let's

go see what else we can stir up."

     Taladegas put her arm around Ephiny's shoulder.  "I

have an idea, and it's a good one."

     "Is it?" Ephiny grinned.  "It wouldn't happen to

involve some oil and oh, say, grapes, maybe?"

     Taladegas snatched a bowl of grapes from a passing

tray and hid them behind her back.  "Sure, and I even

managed to save the last of the warm chocolate sauce

from this afternoon's feast.  Never know when you

might need it, oh, guess what?  Marne's been

experimenting with a new gelatin formula."

     "No!"

     "Yes, and it's even thinner than the last, AND...she

figured out how to make the sides stick together."

     "Sss," Ephiny sucked in her breath.  "Tal, you're

wicked."

     "Ain't I just...."